If one had to vote for the most unpleasant health-related procedure, a visit to the dentist is very likely to win the title. Even if it’s just a minor issue with your pearly whites, half an hour spent with your mouth open to its max is not a pleasurable experience. Not to mention if you have to endure some drilling, pulling out, or removal of very stubborn plaque that needed attention like two years ago. It is also very likely that you’ll be asked a couple of questions while sitting there, jaw agape and mouth stuffed with that nasty little saliva vacuum and those little cotton wads that make your mouth as dry as the Mojave desert. And all you can answer is MPHFHFHPH no matter what the question was. However, there’s one thing that always makes things better, and it’s silly puns. Even better if those are dentist puns, and you can, at the very least, laugh at the situation in your head while someone’s fingers are poking your gums.
Be as it may, dental jokes will exist as long as people have teeth. Meaning, like, forever. And, since it is such a relatable topic, these funny jokes will continue to make generations after generations grin, demonstrating their Hollywood smiles and rows of porcelain choppers. But are they funny enough to make your own dentures emerge from the velvety darkness in which they reside? Well, why don’t we check it out! The first thing you have to do is to scroll down below to where the cheesy puns start. Then, read them all and give your vote to the best joke that fulfilled the aforementioned task - this way, we’ll know they were good enough! And lastly, share these teeth puns with anyone who might find them relatable. Meaning, of course, everyone!
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When should I make your next appointment? 2:30 (tooth-hurty)
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I took my brother to the dentist the other day. When the dentist asked him what type of filling he wanted, he just told the doctor "Chocolate".
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A judge went to his dentist because he had a damaged tooth and had to get it out. Before the dentist started, the judge said, "Do you swear you'll pull the tooth, the entire tooth, nothing but the tooth?"
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The dentist once told me that my teeth are like some string of pearls. He said it's because each one of them has one hole through it.
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I went to my dentist because my tooth was hurting. Although, my cavity wasn't really fixed by my regular doctor. A guy that was filling in for him did the work.
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When I went to my dentist, she asked me whether I had any sensitive toothpaste at home. I said I didn't know because my toothpaste and I don't really talk about our feelings with each other.
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My dentist has hung a TV on his office ceiling so that his patients would watch shows while he worked. He's been calling it Netflix and Drill.
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I went to my dentist yesterday and she told me that I don't floss enough. I took her advice and started taking dance classes.
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An astronaut had a cavity and went to his dentist. The dentist kept calling the cavity a black hole.
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I always make sure I’m nice to my dentist because I know she has fillings too.
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My dentist asked me if I floss between meals. I said no, only between my teeth.
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Why did the two teeth get married? Because they had fallen in love at first bite.
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Why are false teeth like vampires? They both come out at night.
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The Queen got her tooth chipped the other day. So she decided to go to her dentist to treat herself a new crown.
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The other day the computer decided to go to his dentist. It was probably because he had bluetooth.
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Dentists usually seem very moody. It's probably because they are always looking down in the mouths.
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What’s the dentist’s favorite kind of dinosaur? A floss-iraptor.
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My dentist was in the army before he became a dentist. When I asked what he did in the army, he said that he was a drill sergeant.
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I didn't know that my friend had a dental implant until we went to dinner and it came out during a conversation.
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The other day the donut had to go to its dentist. Because he needed some filling.
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I’ve been to the dental surgery so many times that I know the drill.
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My dentist asked me if I would please open up, but I didn’t really want to confide in him.
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I had a contagious gum disease, but at least it gave me an infectious smile.
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What is a dentist’s favourite card game? Bridge.
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What was the tooth called who went to Oxford University? The Wisdom Tooth.
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"To floss or not to floss." There is no question.
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Dental care in Panama is called a route canal.
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What does Tooth Paste mean in Italian?
Pasta al dente!
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Dental hygienists say the F word a lot.
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My dentist doesn't really like tea. So I just call him Denis. He wasn't really abcess-ed with it.
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One day a golfer went to the dentist. The dentist checked on her and said "Well miss, you seem to have a hole in one".
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My dentist had quite a number of good looking clothes. So I wondered where he bought them from. She told me her favorite place to get clothes was The Gap.
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We went to the zoo the other day and saw a bear that had no teeth. My sister and I called it the gummy bear.
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A computer went to the dentist one day. He was a little nervous but the doctor consoled him by saying, "don't worry, it won't hurt a byte".
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All the dentists and the TSA have one thing in common. It's the cavity checks.
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The other day I left a comb of mine at the dentist's place. I guess now it's become a fine-toothed comb.
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My dentist said that he had two ways of knocking me out before starting his work. He could do it with some gas, or he would have to use some big metallic rock. I just told him, "Ether/ore".
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The other day I needed some x-rays when I went to the dentist's place. My dentist kept calling them tooth-pics.
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The other day a dentist had to go to the psychiatrist. When the psychiatrist told him to talk about what was bothering him, he said, "I don't think you can handle the tooth".
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The man with the teeth issues couldn't find where the dentist's office was. Probably because there wasn't any plaque to recognize.
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I went to my dentist today and while I was talking to her she seemed quite distracted. I had the feeling that she was brushing me off.
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The other day a patient didn't show up at his dentist's place for his root canal. I guess he just lost his nerve.
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What do tuba players use to brush their teeth? A tuba toothpaste.
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Word-of-mouth was how I got my job at the dentist’s office.
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Which is the best day to go to the dentist? Tooth-day.
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Did you know that the police have just raided the dental surgery? They are performing a cavity search.
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I’d been feeling a bit out of shape, but a visit to my dentist straightened me out.
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What is a dentist’s favourite place to buy petrol? The filling station.
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How do dentists brush their hair? With a fine-toothed comb.
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I went to the dentist without lunch so he gave me a plate.
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A local Bhuddist monk went to see the dentist, but refused all the drugs he was offered. He wanted to transcend dental medication.
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If you like sweet things you are a sweet tooth. If you like wireless things you are bluetooth.
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Be true to your teeth. Or they will be false to you.
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Dentists are really good hackers, because they always get root access.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth? The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?
A month later he was picking his teeth.
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Has your tooth stopped hurting yet? I don’t know, the dentist kept it.
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Dentist weren't complementing you when he said you have deep pockets.
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Brush at night to keep your teeth, brush in the morning to keep your friends.
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My dentist recently won the dentist of the year title. He received a little plaque as the prize.
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My dentist has a picture of her favorite animal on her desk. It's the picture of a molar bear.
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Whenever I have any problem, hearing them my dentist gives the best advice. I call this talent his fill-ossophy.
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My friend is a dentist. Once we met up and decided to watch a movie. When I asked what his favorite movie was, he said "Plaque to the Future".
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The dentist couldn't ask his secretary if she wanted to go out to get some dinner. Probably because he had already been taking out a tooth.
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That day, a man was arrested for looking at some sets of dentures at the dentist's window. It was against the law that you cannot pick your teeth in public.
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I always say that going to a dentist is like the movies where some character gets interrogated. Because it's always pretty clear if someone's lying and if they don't come clean, they might lose a tooth.
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The deer went to the dentist and the dentist said that it needed braces. Probably because it had buck teeth.
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I gave another name to my dentist's office. I call it a filling station.
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The other day Frosty the Snowman had to go to his dentist. Probably because he had a really bad case of frost bite.
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I went to my dentist to get a damaged tooth removed but he removed the wrong one. Well, it was acci-dental though.
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A group of nagging dentists were skiing some experiments and accidentally discovered one new chemical element. They named it the Flossphorus.
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I once knew a dentist who just couldn't stop working on teeth. I guess he was abscessively compulsive.
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Two dentists were friends but they lived across the country from one another. I guess you could say that they were molar opposites.
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What does the dentist give a bear with a hurting tooth? Anything it wants.
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The lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer.
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A good dentist is a little picky. A really good dentist never gets on your nerves.
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Why did the cheerleader go to the dentist? Because she knew he would enjoy her root-ine.
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Some people never grow all, or any, of their wisdom teeth.
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What did the sweet tooth say to the chocolate comedian? Your joke is cracking me up.
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Why is it sometimes necessary to get a second opinion from a dentist?
Because each dentist has their own floss-ophy.
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Why should you be kind to your dentist?
Because they have fill-ings too.
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Why do teeth move? Shift happens.
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Everyone wears a crown.
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I’ve no idea why people hate going to the dentist so much. In my opinion, it can be very refilling.
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They called him the king of dentists because he specialized in crowns.
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A dentist gets on everybody's nerves.
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Well, that's the mo-lar of the story,-said my dentist after speaking about my tooth hygiene.
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Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
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My girlfriend has been complaining about her tooth hurting...
I told her it's all in her head.
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My dentist said I need a crown. I was like "I know, right?"
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The molar bear fighting against enamel cruelty.
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What do you call an old dentist? A bit long in the tooth.
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Why did the two dentists get married? Because they were so enameled of each other.
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Stop making toothpaste jokes! Oral b mad!
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My dantist say that bacon and soda works just as good as toohpaste!
That's baking soda!
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You might lose the tooth but we can cross that bridge when we come to it.
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Gerald noticed that one of his teeth was becoming sensitive to the cold so he moved to Fluorida.
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"I can't feel my face when I'm with you.” – The Weekend.
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An orthodontist went to the theme park and rode on a roller coaster. He braced himself before the ride started.
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Once, I was living with a marching band member and I noticed that she used to brush her teeth with a tuba toothpaste.
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My dentist likes potatoes a lot. When I went and asked him about it, he said it's because they're very filling.
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The Pharaoh decided to visit his dentist the other day. That's because Egypt his tooth.
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I had a friend when I was a kid who's become a dentist by now. When we used to play together, his favorite game was always Caps and robbers.
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One day the tree went to its dentist. Because it had to get a root canal.
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The dentist and the manicurist weren't good friends at all. Probably because they always fought tooth and nail.
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What did the dentist say to the tooth when he had to leave the room? I’ll fill you in when I get back.
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I asked my dentist if he would like to go out for dinner but he gave me the brush off.
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I need to book a dental appointment to have root canal. The thought of it is deeply unnerving.
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The favourite boat of the dentist is a tooth ferry.
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Why are dentists good at solving problems? Because they know how to get to the root of things.
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Dentist have their own flossify on how to keep teeth clean.
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I’ve just seen on the news that an orthodontist has been found dead, with a hatchet embedded in his head. Police are treating it as an axe-i-dental death.
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My toothache is driving me to extraction.
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Ten years without brushing causes horrible toothdeca-de.
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I went to see my dentist the other day but she was on holiday. There was a locum filling in.
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Do dentists of foreign extraction pull teeth rootinely?
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I’m always sad when I go to the dentist. So I put on music and listen through my bluetooth headphones.
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My doctor told me that he hopes that it's not acci-dental that I'm using floss before visiting with him.
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I had less fillings and she needed more, hence it was a costly affair.
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Don't rush when you brush!
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If only my teeth were as white as my legs.
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Dentists don't lie, that's the t -ooth.
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